a life that has no air
a broken heart that wants to be mended
a soul that hungers for more
a pain that sears the heart and soul
the cause for my pain


it has hurt so many
it has torn apart many people
it has lied

my 64 : my 64 - mike jones

why is it that a life is haunted by the sins of its past,

i'm so mad at myself
i don't want to be this way
but i guess i can't change myself completely

i feel that i am ready for so many things
but in a way i'm not
i guess i'm just feeling this because i'm still a teenager.

but when i am ready
everything will fall into place.

i'm lost
i don't know what to do
someone please help me
i don't want to be like everyone else


why can't this world be innocent
like babies
they don't know what evil is
i just can't wait till the day when this world finally is filled with peace.

i like this guy
he likes another
yet he is my best friend
i wish he would like me
but it can't be so

if he would like me we would feel different
i really like him
i guess i won't be that special someone for him.

THE TOKAYOS

why is it that the man that you love,
loves you back but not in the same way?
because he might not have the same feelings that you have for him
love is friendship on fire
love is the thing that holds you together but it can tear you apart
like fire and powder as they kiss consume.
it can tear you apart like glass breaking on a floor
it can bring you sorrow and grief
but these violent delights have violent ends
though it has pain and suffering it gives you the reward
of being with the one you love
but it can also cause sepperation


sometimes the person you love can be the one that hurts you the most
the hurting is good because if you stand up to your fears it will
give you the courage and valor to live youre life to the fullest
but that person may be the one that pulls you down and the one that won't let you fulfill your dreams
if you truly love that person you will accept the sacrifices nescassery and create new dreams and goals with the one you love
for they will not stop and see if you are ready they will take youre heart and ram it into the ground like trash in a dumpster
but that is why you find someone else that will really care about your hopes and dreams.

i am going through alot
i've been changing
i feel guilty about some thoughts in my head
i want to change for the better before it's to late

i want to give my life to God
i've done it before but i believe i have to do it again
i'm getting an attitude
i want to be a better person

please someone help me be a better person.

ThEsE ArE My pOeMs i hOpE ThEy MeAn sOmEtHinG To ThE PeOplE ThAt rEaD ThEm!!!!!

boom
crash
the pain is unberable!!!!
is it hunger?
or is it pain within the soul?
is it because of a guy or because i'm just hurting?
is it because i need more love?
or is it because i am changing?

me myself me

i'm a different kindof person
on the sraight and nerrow
yes i might be a lil' bossy
but hey thats something that i have to work on
back off i'm a human!!!!
i make mistakes like everyone
my name is ivana
i am unique
i'm happy with myself
whenever someone says that they're not good it gets on my nerves
why? yoy may ask
because it's like saying that God made a mistake
but i guess that's their opinion.

singing is my life
it's the thing that i can do
whether i am crying or laughing
my songs are sweet but then they turn sour
i try my best to be happy but it's just hard
i can't forget what i've been through but when i'm in a good mood the world seems like the perfect place.

my obidience

why dosen't anyone listen to me!!!!!!!!
i know the truth but i am ignored!!!!
i can't fit in!!!
i feel lonley!!!!!
i have God yes i know!!!
but i need someone else!!!!
i have a family and a lot of friends
but it's not the same!!!!
i'm saving myself for the person God has for me!!!!
but it's hard
but i know that my obidience will soon pay off.

My NiGhTmArE!!!!

I FALL ASLEEP
I START WITH A SWEET DREAM
BUT THEN IT BECOMES DARK AND COLD
I SEE RED EYES BLACK SILLOUETES
HIS EYES STARE ME DOWN
I'M AFFRAID
I TRY TO WAKE UP BUT MY EYES DON'T OPEN
HELP!!!!!!!
HE'S CHASING ME!!!!
WAKE ME UP!!!!!
MY SWEAT IS COLD
I'M DYING!!!!
BOOM!!!!!!!
IT'S ALL OVER.

the journey to get home

i've been traveling for so long
goeing throuh valleysand over mountains
all that time i've been thinking of one thing

HOME.

home is where you are
where i belong
it's warm and cozy
and away from the cold


it's where i feel safe and sound
it's where i am needed

that's why i am taking this journey just to get where i belong
HOME.

it's life......suck it up!!!!

have you ever had a dream?
and you wante to fulfill it real bad?
have you ever felt that someone is standing in your way and won't let you fulfill it?


have you almost given up one of your privlages just to get to that dream?
have you ever wished that life was easier?


have you ever lost a friend?
have you ever had a crush?
have you ever made a mistake that can't be fixed?


have you ever been under pressure?
have you ever just wanted to scream your head off?
don't you ever wish that you could fly away?


why does life have to be so hard?

forever grateful

my life had fallen apart
i felt alone
i felt my face
it was weat with tears i had cried
i wanted to go to sleep and dream of somewhere special
because of your grace i am still here
i was in your arms all along
but i put them aside
you tried to show me how much you loved me
but i ignored you
but because of your love and grace i am still here
i am forever grateful to my father in father.

MENT 2 BE!!!!!

i'm yours your mine
we belong together
we're two seperate people
but when we are together we are one
you pull me close
our eyes connect
you turn away
i ask what's wrong
you sayed i'm loosing feelings
i cry my eyes out
you went away
you never came back
and that ment 2 be dream was gone


when i was with you everything was right
now that you are gone my world has fallen apart
i need you near
and i want to be loved by you.

my heart will go on celine dion

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold toIn my life we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you areI believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

i am strong yet weak

we always talk but yet we fight
we always hug but yet we punch
we give a kiss but yet we spit
we make something beautiful and yet we destroy it
we have a friendship but yet we break it
we have love but yet we hate
we are happy but yet are sad
we are brave but we are scared
everyone has their weaknesses and strenghths yet we have to find them.

STUPID JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why are you so wonderful?
why do your eyes drift and lock with mine?
why do you always say that i am beautiful?
why do you tempt me with your smile?
why do you act like you care about me?
why do you act like your angry at me and then act like nothing happened?
why can't you just tell me how you feel about me?
why do you play around with my feelings?
i hate you so much!!!!!!!!!but i guess that's a part of having a crush


why does he do that?
pretend that he likes me
but flirt with every other girl
right in front of my face!!!!


why is he nice when he is in front of me?
and then when he's with his friends
he is a total jerk!!!!!!

why can't he just like me for who i am
why does he have to pretend
why can't you like what is inside instead of what is out!!!!!!!!
why do you have to be so ughhhh i don't even know the word!!!!
STUPID JERK!!!!!!!

i have a crush on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so what!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why are you so wonderful?
why do your eyes drift and lock with mine?
why do you always say that i am beautiful?
why do you tempt me with your smile?


why do you act like you care about me?
why do you act like your angry at me and then act like nothing happened?
why can't you just tell me how you feel about me?

why do you play around with my feelings?
i hate you so much!!!!!!!!!
but i guess that's a part of having a crush.

i think i am in love or is it just like??????

the first time i saw you i thought you where the ugliest person i had seen
i dispised you
i thought that you where the cokiest person ever
but when we talked that first time for real on the beach
i felt this feeling inside that i had felt with my first crush
it had been so long since i had a crush like this
i want to be able to know that you like me too
you played around with my feelings saying that when you
talked to me it was just a joke
i hated you for that but i guess
i am so STUPID that i can't get you out of my head
i started crushing on someone else but when i saw his face it
was like i was looking at you
last week we where in the same room
i could see you from the corner of my eye you where looking at me
i thought it might be a sign but i didn't let it get to my heart
you always tell me that i am beautiful
but i guess that you are just playing around.

i have the right

i have the right to live
i have the right to love
i have the right to learn

everyone around me is telling
me that i can't achieve anything
but i know that if i keep going i will get to the finish line

i have the right to breath
i have the right to stand for what i know is right
and my heart has the right to keep on beating


so many people have been put down by others
many don't stand up and dust themselves off
instead
they let what they heard sink into their hearts

i know i might fall once in a while
but i have the right to get back up again

no one can stand in my way
i'm gunna keep on going
and get to the finish line.

like

ugh i hate you so much
why can't i get you out of my head
why can't i forget you?
your stuck in my head
is this what a crush is? is it hating then liking?
what is this feeling that i have inside
we don't talk anymore
we rarely see each other and when we do we hardly speak
is it that you like me to?
well i guess it'll take time till i know.

darkness

what is darkness?
is it a blank spot in the back of your head
is it death?
is it suffering
is it knowing that you won't wake up
is it a black hole
is it not being able to see?
is it just fear?

i am me

i have a reason to live
i have the right to breathe
i have the right to dream
i have the right to be the person that i want to be
i can fall in love with anyone
i can have as many friends as i want
i can use my imagination
i can become anything i want to become
so you know what just accept me the way i amj.

??????? questions and more questions ????????

can i run to you?
and if i do would you hold me tight?
would you confort me?
would you make everything better?
or would you just shut me out
would you only care about yourself?
would you only want me to listen to you
while you just ignore me?
would you only talk about that special girl
while my world is falling apart
would you be there for me?
would you try to make me laugh with your retarded jokes that
you always kill
would you be the person that i could run to?
would you be able to take it?
would you be able to take my problems and make them your own?
i guess these are questions that will remain in my head.

i am a fat monkey killer mr. smith!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate that i like you.

this feeling that i have inside is one of a kind
my heart beats fast
and when i see you i can't breathe
you might not know how i feel since we are best friends
you like another girl
we tell each other everything but i've left so many things out
i've never had this feeling
it's amazing
i put on a smile so you won't see that i am hurt
you talk about her every single second
things are going on at home that i want to talk about with you but you don't listen
i thought guy friends where the best
i am happy for you
but i still need you to be there for me
i feel alone
i don't understand
now that she is yours you don't have time for me
maybe when you realize that you've lost a good friend
you might run back
i hope you do because i'll be waiting
you want me to show you my true feelings but i don't
i hate you so much
but i am so STUPID that i still like you
i wish i could forget about you but i guess i can't
i'll be waiting
you might be trying to cover up that you like me by saying that you like somone else
but i guess that's for you to know and for me to find out.

another random poem

we have to accept who we are
even though we look at ourselves in the mirror and see something that we don't expect
we wanna be like supermodels
and celebs
but why can't we accept ourselves the way we are?
we are beautiful the way we are
no one can take our beauty away not even with thousands of sords
we are made with a special purpose
it'll take time before we know what it is
our personality is unique
we are one of a kind
even though people put us down
we must get back up and not let what they have sid or done sink in.

Love story Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback startsI'm standing there
On a balcony of summer air
See the lights,See the party, the ball gowns I see you make your way through the crowd You say hello
Little did I know
That you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase Begging you please don't go, and I said:
Romeo take me somewhere we can be aloneI'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we're dead if they know
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from JulietBut you were everything to me I was begging you please don't go and I said:
Romeo take me somewhere we can be aloneI'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real,Don't be afraid We'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes, oh,I got tired of waiting Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading When I met you on the outskirts of town I said:Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knealt to the ground and pulled out a ringAnd said:Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be aloneI love you and that's all I really knowI talked to your dad go pick out a white dressIt's a love story baby just say yes
Oh, oh, ohOh, oh, oh, oh
Cause we were both young when I first saw you

this song that is underneath this post is the song that mr.smith showed us during class. it's not my favorite song.

Music and Media 101

Here is our first test run of Music & Media 101:

video link

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock 'n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin' in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin',
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone,
But that's not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil's only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan's spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn't play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "this'll be the day that I die."

now i am going to post 1 of my favorite songs and tear it apart.

Agape

agape
unconditional love
to be willing to give your life for a friend
to love 'till the day you die
like Jesus that gave his life for us
without us deserving it
would you do that ?
would you put yourself infront of a bullet before it hits your friend?
would you be willing to love someone 'till the day you die?
is your kind of love Agape?

agape

now i have to use that word in one of my poems and what it means to me.
agape means:unconditional love
it's one of the three types of love

2 poems that i put together and have to fix.

why are we affraid of falling in love?why can't we just accept that it is natural?
why can't we just let go of the past and let the future sink in?why are we so affraid of what is to come?
we are still searching for the hope that one day we will find peace in something or someone
maybe we just wanna get out of this stinckin' world
why can't we just fly away?
maybe some day i will go to that special place with that special someone
and you know what i know what that special place is and who that special someone is
a sea of darkness is covering me i
am trying to find the light i've been hurting for so long that i don't know what peace is
some people don't understand
i've met so many people before and have tried to trust them but i find it so hard
take me out of this misery take me to a place where the day never ends and time dosen't exist help me see the light i hope that one day i will find a place of peace

umm i am now going to write a poem about whatever i want.

mr. smith i already posted my poem now juss tell me wat u think.

THE WORLD SEEN FROM A CHILDS' EYES

i look out my window and what do i see
the junk of the people that used to live here going deep into the soil
making more layers of dirt
i see the black sky
filled with stars and the moon
clouds cover the moon
and all of a sudden it pops out the other side
showing that even though sometimes we loose hope
there is still a light out there that will show us the way
i see the rain trickling down touching the earth
saying i come down from heaven when the angels cry
i help plants grow
i see all the trees stretching their branches as far as they can go to touch the sky
i see the summer come and go leaving behind a little sign that it had been here
i see a bottle of liquior on the graval saying that the person that bought it might have not gotten home safley to see their loved ones
i see a woman going into a grocery store buying whatever is needed at home
i start thinking about the children that don't have their mothers that are alone without any shelter and are cold
i see the world as aplace to live in but maybe for others it's ust a homw for ashort period of time.
every sound that i hear is music
every time i look out my window i see what is making the sound
like it says in the movie august rush " music is everywhere we just have to listen"
we take so much time hearing but we don't listen
we ask why everything is so hard
we have everything we need but we don't think about what others are going through
just look out your window and think about what u see.